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Oh Doctor Doctor..Can't you see me burning burning

5/18/2012

8 Comments

 
I shuffled my feet nervously while seated in the waiting room, restlessly looking at my watch.  I was irritated a nurse at the nurse’s station was smoking so close to an operating room, but I had other things on my mind.  Poor 8D69, my little old beat up NYC Taxi was undergoing the torch as skilled surgeons desperately tried to diagnose a critical pain on my car’s rear axle; and hoping a hip replacement would not be needed.  I knew it would come to this, my poor car had been withering in pain the past week as we would roll along the countryside – its right rear wheel shrieking to me that something was wrong in its joint.  This after having already had surgery on it's left side a month or so ago. 

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Unable to contain my nerves any longer and stricken with worry, I walked to the surgeon’s table and gazed upon the innards of 8D69’s hip – it’s blood in the form of gear lube oil dripping senselessly upon the ground, with bits of its bone particles in the form of shaved metal glittered.  I tried to be strong, but the sight and smell was too much; I had to loook away.  I affectionately touched my car's rear bumper to let it know I was nearby and not to worry.  The Doctor showed me the damage.  “I don’t know Mike, I think she’s going to need a new rear end”, said Dr. Barry of B&B Auto.  His head sank waiting for my reaction, as he knows my affinity towards a vehicle’s originality.  “No saving it?” said I.  “Well, I can put another offset bearing in it, but, it won’t last long, you’re going to have to replace the entire housing” as he pointed to the sheered metal flakes on my axle shaft and housing.  The only sound in the room was the idle hissing of the air drill……as these brave surgeons gave me the bad news.  

After a pause, Dr. Barry asked me “What do you want me to do?”   Shocked at the insensitivity of the question and without even thinking - I told him to make it feel better and spare no expense….patch it up with an offset bearing until I could find a total hip replacement for the car.  So, with the precision and skill of Ron Jeremy’s willy in the 1980's, he set out to work and patched my car up.  After a brief transfusion of new gear lube oil, I drove 8D69 home and I no longer could hear it groan with each mile it rolled.  I pulled into the garage and tapped 8D69 on the fender and told it I would never give up on it – to enjoy it’s temporary reprieve from pain, and that I would find a new part so it could once again feel the brush of wind over its yellow skin on the open roads of America. 

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And so it goes…..poor 8D69’s former travels as a NYC Taxi in the City of Broken Dreams has also become the City of Broken Auto Parts.  The hundreds of thousands of quick starts and turns has thus created a battle scar that will never heal on its own; the onset of vehicular arthritis was inevitable.  Unlike most soldiers, a NYC Taxi once retired does not have medical insurance.  There is no deductible or co-pay – it is all out of pocket.  So….anyone happen to have a rear axle for a Crown Victoria in their garage?   If not, I would encourage a get well soon note for me to read to it – so as to keep the car’s spirits up.  Or not. 

I’ll never give up on my old taxi.  No matter how much Orianna would like me to. 

8 Comments
noah link
5/18/2012 09:48:22 am

nice analogy writing intro. Yes I've heard about the troubles of even the third year of taxi crown vic ownership, a friend told me it wasn't worth it to own any taxi for the dreaded 3rd year when payments are cheaper -no more payments on the car... however the repairs keep coming in... and your car jeez,, what is it in? year 4? I had a car with 200k+ miles on it on a rainy day, had a hint of an electrical smoke from the steering column, and 3 of 4 tires should've been replaced before I started my shift... I digress, i should be writing this in my entries... anywho long story short I feel for your situation. and..

perhaps you can find a cheap panther platform axle in the bronx or queens with all of our inventory of town cars and crown vic's in the 5 boros, might get a good price.

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Mike
5/18/2012 11:10:52 am

Thanks Noah - appreciate the comment! Yeah things seem to frizzle and frazzle in this car; but I knew that going into it - I don't drink or smoke so....my "fun" cash goes into the car. Actually, it has been pretty solid thus far; no real problems as of yet and it hasn't stranded me despite the fairly lengthy distances I've traveled in it. So....next trip down to the city I plan on stopping at a couple of garages I am aware of and see if I can get a used axle - there has to be someone down there who will sell me one. I hope they find my story interesting/strange enough they will break down into tears and give me one....but haha - yeah...I'll bring cold cash! LOL. In the meantime, it is working fine - but it won't last for more than a few thousand miles. NYC Taxi's unite!

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Saroh
5/27/2012 02:29:05 pm

LOL. you are so funny, i love this site

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Judi link
6/24/2012 06:36:59 am

Awwww, poor car! I hope she heals quickly.

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6/26/2012 08:22:06 pm

Its a fun ride seems you loved your car very much and love to write on it how you felt hope she is well now.

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